


Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die

by Peter164



Series: Markiplier Personality Disorder [7]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Adoption, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Legal Drama, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, Omorashi, Trans Character, but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-11-28 12:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11418042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter164/pseuds/Peter164
Summary: Mark and Jack want to have a baby. But problems arise when they learn about Mark's "friends".





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself with the title.

"Well, it looks like everything's about ready to send off. Just one last question. Is there any mental health problems that may affect you raising a child?" The woman at the adoption center asked. 

"Not with me," Jack said, "But-"

"I do." Mark explained everything for the millionth time in his life. She nodded.

"Are any of your other-personalities hostile or aggressive in a way that would harm a child?" She asked cautiously. Mark glanced at Jack, the same thought crossed their minds. _Dark._

"There's one. He can be very manipulating, but really he's all bark and no bite. And he's gotten a lot better about thinking about how his actions might affect other people. And he can be a perfect gentleman if he wants to." Jack said. He was not going to let Dark keep him from having a baby.

"Do you think he would ever hurt a child is the real question." She said.

"Not deliberately. I think the most likely thing to happen would be either he would be disinterested and leave it to me to take care of things or he would pretend not to like them and play with them for hours." Jack insisted, "Honestly, I wouldn't even bring him up if it weren't for his history."

"What history?"

"In the past, he was a bit abusive towards me. But he hasn't been anything but kind to me for nearly six months now." Jack was really trying to sell the fact that he was fine. Mark was nodding furiously. It seemed that she understood, because she sighed.

"I may have an idea." She said, "It sounds like he has improved, and you wouldn't come here if you didn't think you could handle it. However, I can't let you into the system until I deem it's a safe home, and there is someone with history of abuse in the household. We have a child here and we can't legally let him go until he's 18. His birthday is in about a month and a half from now. That seems like a suitable length of time for an inspection in this particular case. If you would like, I could let him live with you until then and he could report back to us."

Their faces lit up, they had a chance. Mark spoke up before Jack could even process the words, "We'll do it."

"Would you like to talk it over with each other or-"

"No, just tell us when to pick him up or when he's getting dropped off or whatever." Jack tried his best not to shout. He was giddy, he couldn't help it.

"I'll be right back with his paperwork." She smiled and stood up from her desk. She looked like she was waddling in her pencil skirt and heels. Jack grinned, maybe Dark hadn't ruined the whole thing. Mark squeezed his hand, Jack looked over to see him smiling. The woman came back a few minutes later with a couple papers stapled together. She handed them over and Mark took it.

"Thank you so much for giving us a chance." Mark said, the happiest look on his face.

"This has all his information in it. Look it over and you can pick him up Thursday." She said. Jack felt like he could cry.

~*~

His name was Caleb. His black hair was shaved short against his dark skin. He was sitting in the lobby with a blue duffle bag and a white hoodie on. He looked up at the sound of the door closing behind Mark and Jack. His dark eyes were bright, as closed in as the rest of him seemed. They walked up to him and introduced themselves.

"You from Ireland?" Caleb asked Jack.

"Born and raised. What gave it away? The accent or the green hair?" Jack asked. 

"The fact that you said by Jaesus." Caleb answered.

"That would be a bit of a giveaway." He said, "I guess we just head back. I mean unless you need to pick something up or anything."

"No, I think I'm okay." He shrugged and stood up.

"Let us know if you need anything." Mark said, "Jack, did you have Google do laundry while he was cleaning? I threw our sheets in the laundry room and I'm wondering if they got washed."

"Yeah, don't worry. He was out for the whole day, and he got the whole house done in three hours. I made sure he had things to do." Jack said. Caleb looked confused, "They told you why you were coming with, right?"

"Yeah. He's got the thing that girl had in the show I can't remember the name of." Caleb said.

"United States of Tara?" Mark asked. Caleb nodded, "That's what everyone thinks of. Anyway, one of them is a robot named Google. He panics if you don't give him something to do."

"Oh." He nodded.

"Can we head back now? Neil DeGrasse Tyson has a new three part documentary about space on Netflix and I wanna watch it." Mark said. Jack rolled his eyes.

"I don't want to watch another one with you, Mark. I've seen every single one with you." 

"Please. I'll watch Captain America with you afterwards." Mark begged. Jack gave in. 

"You ready to go?" Jack asked Caleb. The boy nodded and followed them to the car. He sat in the back and played on his phone. He looked like he wanted the bench to absorb him. Jack felt bad for the kid. It must be a lot for him to do this, "What do you like doing, Caleb. And don't worry if you sound like the most boring person on the planet. That's how everyone feels."

"I draw a lot. I like movies. I don't know, I'm usually just happy being by myself." He shrugged, "So how does his thing work? They said one of them was abusive but you said he got better. Should I be concerned about that?"

"As far as I know, he's only ever gone for Jack. I don't know why that is though. And he really has improved a lot. I guess the best advice would be to be careful around him." Mark told him.

"If it sounds like he's trying to convince you to do something or sugar coating things, that means he wants something from you and you should ignore it." Jack told him, "If he doesn't get what he wants, he will probably insult you. It's just because he's trying to manipulate you, don't listen. He never wants anything good."

"You sound like you have first hand experience in giving him what he wants." Caleb said.

"Three guesses why." Jack answered with a shrug. Caleb looked sad.

"Anything else I should be aware of?" He asked.

"Wilford can be hard to understand sometimes, and never call him Will, it makes him upset. Normal upset, not Dark upset. Dark is who we were just talking about. Ayano is a girl, call her a girl. Bing will ask you for drugs, he asks everyone, just tell him no. Google is afraid of the toaster, and the hoover, and any other household item that makes a loud noise. Dr. Iplier likes to exaggerate, you won't actually die because you drank soda, I promise. Author is blind, so he needs a lot of help. Bim Trimmer is the stereotypical gay man. And Oliver is three, so he acts like a three year old." Jack explained to him.

"That's it?" Caleb double checked.

"Be prepared for Wilford in general. He's a unique individual." Jack said, "Other than that, I think that's all."

"Alright." He nodded, "So, what are you guys into? Like hobby wise I mean."

"Space, videogames, improv, anything small and cute, not the ocean. Fuck the ocean." Mark said. 

"I still don't understand how you play so much Subnautica when you hate the ocean so much." Jack said.

"It has aliens, and space, and cool alien machines, and mysteries, and all kinds of really cool stuff. It's a space ocean, which is slightly less bad." Mark explained.

"Once we went to the beach and you only stood there the water came up on the sand when I came with you to literally hold your hand and something touched your foot and you ran away and wouldn't touch it for the rest of the day." Jack reminded him. He left out the part where Mark refused to let go of Jack for nearly two hours after that.

"I'll give you that one. But that's the only thing that freaks me out that much." Mark insisted. Jack snorted.

"You have to hold my hand if we go to Old Navy because the mannequins scare you." Jack said. 

"They are very scary mannequins. Everyone knows that." Mark said. Jack just rolled his eyes. He loved his big, dumb, baby of a husband so much. 

They got home and climbed out of the car. Jack showed Caleb where his room was and offered to help him unpack. He frantically declined the offer and Jack shrugged it off as shyness. He walked back down the stairs and found Mark in the kitchen, just smiling to himself.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked.

"We have a chance. I thought I ruined it. But we have a chance, and I've never been happier." Mark stared at the floor. 

"We just can't blow it." Jack said.

"I know, and I'm terrified that I will." Mark shook his head. Jack sighed and held out his arms. Mark scooped him up in a hug while Caleb unpacked his bag upstairs. They can do this. Dark will not keep them from this, Jack refused to let that happen. 


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb had a sketchbook on his lap and a pencil in his hand. Jack sat on his phone. Dark strolled down and stared at Caleb. 

"Jack, what is that?" He asked, pointing to the boy curled up on the couch.

"Dark, what did we say about calling people it?" Jack asked without looking up.

"You expect to do that with all people? I can't just call humans I don't know it?" Dark asked. 

"Nope. People are not things. You will call them he, she, they, or whatever else they ask to be called." Jack told him. Dark growled, "Be nice. It's your fault he's here in the first place."

"How is it my fault?"

"Because Mark and I were going to have a baby, but you are too much of a risk for us to do that without having him around to make sure you won't smother a baby in their sleep." Jack told him. Caleb's eyes flickered between the two. 

"Why aren't you worried about Ayano? Or Wilford? They're just as much of a wild card as I am. If anything, more that I am." Dark pointed out.

"Wilford listens to me. If I tell him to be careful with a baby, he'll be careful with a baby. Besides, he's not aggressive, just eccentric. Ayano will think it's her baby as much as it is Mark's, she won't hurt them. You on the other hand-"

"I am incredibly sweet, and kind, and gentle if I feel like it. And you're getting a little too snappy with me. Maybe I should-"

Dark hadn't even finished his sentence before Jack grabbed his shirt and pulled him into the time out closet. He shut the door and locked Dark in. He walked back over and plopped down on the couch again. He jumped a little every time there was a bang on the door. Caleb watched him, he was concerned.

"Don't worry about me, it's just empty threats at this point. It used to be worse." Jack said, "I put him in time out. Give him a while and he'll cool down."

"Can I ask what he used to do?" Caleb asked, setting down his picture.

"It started with just telling me what I could and couldn't do, telling me I couldn't leave, stuff like that. He scared me too much for me to actually do anything. At the wedding, he said he would try to be better. The threats went away, he wasn't as controlling, but he started hitting me if he didn't like something I did. Nothing bad, nothing major, just a slap or two. That's when I started putting him in time out. It's working, now it's just empty threats like what just happened. It's not much, but it is progress." Jack explained. Dark was still thudding against the door. Jack still tensed up, remembering all the time before. Caleb just stared at his lap. He picked up his sketchbook and offered it to Jack.

"You want to look at my pictures?" He asked. Jack smiled and flipped to the first page. A pencil drawing of flowers. Careful lines created delicate petals, fragile veins running through leaves. It was lovely, perfect. Jack was breathtaken. He flipped the page. An anatomically correct human heart. Jack couldn't stop staring. One after the other, drawing after drawing. Beautiful pictures of beautiful things. All Jack could do was take it in. 

"They're all so pretty." Jack said. He felt like if he touched the pages, they would crumble in his hands. Caleb ducked his head, smiling to himself, he twisted the hem of his shirt around. The banging had stopped. Jack stayed sitting. He wouldn't get up for a while longer, but it was easier for Jack to relax now. 

"You'd be a good dad." Caleb told him. Jack's heart swelled. They sat together and talked for another half hour before he finally stood up to let Dark out. He was enveloped in a soft hug. Dark peppered his face in soft kisses and spewing apologies. He hung his head and walked over to Caleb. He held out his hand and introduced himself. He apologized for what he said and asked if they could start over. Caleb nodded hesitantly and shook his hand. Dark sat down and asked about movies he liked.

~*~

The next to show up was Author. Jack was in the other room, making him tea. He was talking with Caleb, telling him stories. Jack stood in the doorway, the mug slowly warming up his hands, and waited for Author to finish. He walked over and took Author's hands to wrap them around the mug. He kissed the top of his head. 

"So, are all of you LGBT? Or just some of you?" Caleb asked.

"More than half of us are. Mark's bisexual, Wilford is gay, Ayano could be considered trans, but I don't know if she feels like she's trans, I'm asexual panromantic, Bim is bisexual, Dark is nonbinary. Technically, Google is a robot, but if you have to classify him, he's agender, aromantic, asexual." Author said, sipping at his tea. 

"I didn't know Dark was nonbinary. Does he care that I say he?" Jack said. Dark never told him that. Jack felt like it was semi-important information.

"I don't know. To my understanding, he has no preference over pronouns at all. He, she, they, it, he doesn't care. Although, I do believe that's for him to say and not me." Author said quietly. Jack would've felt bad, but if Dark wanted him to know, he would've said something. He decided to confront him later. 

"Apparently not, given the fact that I've been married to Mark for nine months now and he's never brought it up." Jack said. 

"Ask him about it. Maybe he'll tell you why?" Author shrugged. 

"Your stories are incredible." Caleb said. Author smiled and blushed.

"Thank you, I work very hard." He answered, "Jack tells me you have lovely pictures. I wish I could see them. A girl like you must make beautiful pictures."

"Girl?" Jack and Caleb both asked. 

"Caleb is a girl, isn't she?" Author tilted his head. Jack looked at Caleb to answer the question. Jack didn't know, maybe Caleb was a girl, who was Jack to say he wasn't? At last Caleb shook his head.

"No." He said when he remembered Author couldn't see him.

"Are you sure? You talk like you're a girl." He pointed out.

"Jack could you get me a glass of water please?" Caleb smiled at him.

"Fetch. To get something is to acquire, but not necessarily return with it. To fetch is to acquire and also return with it." Author corrected. 

"I will fetch you a glass of water." Jack responded to Caleb. He walked into the kitchen and pulled a glass out of the cupboard. He filled with water and walked back out. Author seemed to quiet down about the matter, instead just sipping at his tea. Caleb smiled and took the glass from him. 

"Before you sit, could you be bothered to fetch the book you made me from upstairs? I would like to let Caleb read some of them, since there was some fondness expressed for them." Author asked. Jack told him he would and kissed his temple before walking up the stairs. Jack had recorded some of Author's stories and written them down for him. Once he collected enough, he had them bound into a book so they could have them all in one place. He found it on the shelf in their room and brought it back downstairs. He handed it to Caleb and sat back down. 

Caleb sat and read a few stories. He pointed to one called "Breath". 

"I like this one." He said. Jack looked at the book and read the first couple lines.

"It's about Mark and Me. He told that one right after we got engaged." Jack said with a smile.

"Mark proposed?" Caleb asked. Jack nodded.

"Not even planned really. Ayano just kept begging me to ask Mark. She got sick of it and asked him herself. It was more of a sure why not decision than anything else. I couldn't even tell if he was joking at first." Jack told him. Caleb smiled at the story.

"Can I hear more about you two?" He shifted in his seat. It wasn't a topic Jack usually brought up, it didn't matter to him very much. Just the fact that they were here now mattered. But Caleb was asking, and Jack had more than enough material to oblige.

"Well, I moved here from Ireland and I didn't really have any friends. I met a guy named Felix and we became friends pretty quickly. Mark happened to be at his house at the same time I was, and that was how we met. We swapped phone numbers or whatever, and I don't remember who asked who, but we went out together. He was really nervous. Of course now I know why, he didn't want to freak me out with the others right away and what if I found out somehow and ran away. He told me after we'd been dating for I think three months, maybe four. After a year, we moved in together. Another really sure why not decision. We were pretty much just switching between each other's houses anyway. Before we unpacked anything we played tag, that was the second little snippet you read. I fell and Mark still brings it up from time to time. Another three years and here we are." Jack told him their story. Caleb looked at him warmly.

"So what made you want kids?" 

"Mark always has. He loves kids, probably because he practically is one. Actually, once he took an online quiz for his mental age. He bet he would get over 16 and if he didn't his friends could punish him. He got the mental age of seven. I filmed his punishment. But, back to the topic. What won me over to the idea was Oliver. I fell in love with the little guy almost instantly." Jack said. He did. He loved little Oliver with all his heart, "I'm sure he'll pop out soon. He likes the color yellow. Don't wear yellow with him around, because he'll try to grab it." 

Someone knocked on the door. Jack stood up to answer it. Felix stood there, arms full with his two little pugs.

"Oh thank god you're home. Marzia's parents are coming for a surprise visit and her mom is deathly allergic to dogs. Can you handle them just for the week? I know I didn't give you any notice, but I have three hours to get home and wash every item of clothing we own and all our furniture. Please." Felix begged. Jack looked back at Caleb to see if he had any issues, he shrugged.

"We can handle it. Remember to wash that pretty red dress you have. I'm sure your girlfriend's parents will love the fact their daughter is dating a crossdresser." Jack teased.

"Shut up. I haven't worn a skirt in more than a year." He defended as he handed the dogs to Jack.

"No, of course not. Unless you count Halloween." Jack reminded.

"Halloween doesn't count. Everyone knows that." He pouted.

"Absolutely. Now go run home. Maybe if you hurry you can sneak in some Namjoon fanfiction." Jack loved to push his buttons. It was funny watching him get so mad.

"I don't read Namjoon fanfiction. And if you tell Marzia about him I will never speak to you again." Felix threatened.

"You mean she doesn't know? How'd you get away with naming your cat after him then?"

"She thinks it's a cute way to write June as in the month." Felix answered.

"This is perfect. I have such good dirt on you now." Jack chuckled.

"If you tell Marzia, I'll tell Mark about your thing with collars." Felix crossed his arms.

"Already knows. You should go and get all your pretty dresses washed. You'll want to look your best for her parents. Personally, I like the pink one with the lace or the anime schoolgirl outfit. I'll take good care of the little guys, don't worry." Jack said. Felix relented and handed him the dog stuff he would need.

"Thank you again. I really need to go. I hope everything goes well with you and Mark, you guys deserve it after everything you've been through together." Felix said before he left. 

Edgar and Maya ran up and jumped on Jack's legs to say hello to him. However, in a few minutes, Maya had jumped up on Author's lap and lapped at his face. He smiled and stroked her back happily.

"Which one are you?" Author asked the little dog. Maya barked quietly as an answer, "Hello little Maya."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some wetting in this one. Because it's a 3 year old. They do that sometimes. But if it still makes you uncomfortable, then sit out for this one.

Jack sat on the couch on his phone. He had a song stuck in his head. The sexy one about the candy shop. Suddenly he felt a weight against his thigh. He looked down the see little Oliver snuggled against his leg. He reached down and ran his fingers through his little boy's hair. He whined and squirmed.

"Something wrong, bud?" Jack asked. Oliver didn't respond, he just held his arms out. Jack helped him up so he could sit on his lap. Oliver snuggled against his chest and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Jack pulled his hand from his mouth. Oliver shrieked in protest. Jack let his suck of thumb, "Did something happen?"

Oliver whined in response.

"Do you want something to eat?" Jack asked. Oliver shook his head, "Do you want to watch a movie?" He declined, "We could color pictures." Another denial, "Do you feel yucky?" Finally a nod, "Can you tell me about it?"

A shake of the head.

"Can you color me a picture and show me why you feel yucky?" Jack asked. Oliver nodded, "Okay, can I put you down so I can get you paper and crayons?"

Oliver pouted, but ultimately nodded. Jack kissed his forehead and went to get supplies. He got his baby all set up and ready to go, even bringing down his favorite stuffed animals, his blanket, and his pacifier. Jack let him go and color to his heart's delight. After a few minutes he tugged at Jack's pant leg to show him the picture. A stick figure with a frowny face drawn on. His thin line of a body where a stomach was supposed to be was surrounded by swirling spirals. A big black scribble existed like censorship between his legs. Above his head was a similar looking scribble with a box drawn around it. Above the box were two lines drawn like antennae on an old TV. Big, looming purple shapes surrounded the stick figure. In the corner with a cloud around him was a crude rendition of Jack. The only yellow thing on the page was his body. His hair bright green and eyes two blue dots. Jack figured he should unpack the whole thing. He pulled Oliver back on his lap and looked at the picture with him.

"Do these spirals mean that your tummy feels twisted up?" Jack asked. Oliver nodded, "Is this a TV above your head?" A second nod, "Can you tell me why there's a TV above your head?"

"Feels fuzzy." Oliver answered. Edgar jumped up on the couch and curled up next to the pair, "Like the TVs with the sticks on them and the fuzzy."

"Your head feels like the fuzzy on a TV?" Jack asked. Oliver nodded, "What about this?" He pointed the the censorship scribble.

"Don't want it anymore." Oliver replied, "Wanna be like my dollies."

"You don't want what anymore?" Jack asked. Oliver blushed and stared at his lap before pointing between his legs. Jack nodded, "Do you feel like you have a lot of problems that you're too little for?"

Oliver nodded. Jack scooped him into a hug and held him against his chest. He rocked him gently.

"Is there any problems that I can help you with?" Jack asked, brushing his hair back. Oliver shook his head. Caleb walked into the room, looking bewildered at what he found there, "Can you say hi to Caleb for me?"

Oliver waved and snuggled back into Jack, "Hi, Caleb. I'm Oliver."

"Hi Oliver. How old are you exactly?" Caleb stood still. Oliver held up three fingers.

"Ollie's having a yucky day. We're trying to help him feel better. You're sure you don't want to watch a movie?" Jack asked.

"Lellow?" Oliver asked.

"We could watch a yellow movie if you wanted. Do you want to watch Minions or Pooh Bear?" Jack held up the corresponding stuffed animal for both movies. Oliver grabbed Pooh Bear, "Do you want a snack too?"

"Lellow." Oliver stated. Jack kissed his forehead and set him back on the couch. He turned on the movie and walked into the kitchen, gesturing for Caleb to follow. He gathered up fruit and started to cut it up for his boy. 

"The thing Mark has is caused by trauma at a young age. I won't go into detail, but Marl went through some fucked up shit and this is the result, a version of Mark stuck where he was. Oliver is the youngest by far, but he takes care of the trauma. Obviously sometimes it gets to him. Today is a bad day for him. He's anxious, even though he doesn't even understand the concept of anxiety, he feels wrong and out of place. He said his head felt like static. On these days he gets clingy. He wants hugs and kisses and snuggles and he gets fussy if he doesn't get his way. Usually he's an absolute angel though. He like yellow, so everything he owns pretty much is yellow. He's what made me want to have a baby in the first place." Jack explained to Caleb. He sat and listened as Jack cut up a banana and strawberries. He pulled a sippy cup down from the shelf and filled it with lemonade. He took the food out into the living room and handed it to Oliver.

Caleb watched the pair for a moment before sitting and watching Pooh Bear roll around in the mud puddle to trick the bees into thinking he was a raincloud. Oliver had placed himself back on Jack's lap and quietly ate. He tugged on Jack's hoodie sleeve lightly.

"What's the matter, Ollie?" Jack asked. Oliver whimpered and stuck his hands between his legs, "Okay. I'll pause the movie then we can go. We'll be right back Caleb."

Jack paused the movie and took Oliver to the bathroom. He wiggled and squirmed and just as they closed the door, his pants went dark. His lip quivered and tears started to roll down his cheeks. Jack didn't quite know what to do, but he knew right now his baby needed comfort.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I didn't mean to, but I really needed to go and I-"

"Ollie, buddy, it's okay. It's alright. I'm not mad at you. Accidents happen sometimes. You want to get cleaned up?" Jack asked, carefully wiping tears away. Oliver nodded quietly, "Okay. I'm gonna need you to be a big boy for just one minute, is that alright? I'm just going upstairs to grab you clothes and I'll be right back. Can you take your wet clothes off for me?" Jack asked, doing his best to smile. Oliver nodded, "Okay, Caleb is just in the other room if you need him."

Jack left him to get more clothes. He quickly explained to Caleb before hurrying upstairs. He grabbed a pair of Oliver's pajamas and also some of Mark's clothes in case he switched, along with some extra supplies. He returned and entered the first floor bathroom, which wasn't as nice, but it had a bath and it meant Oliver wouldn't have to walk past Caleb with wet pants. Oliver was naked and shifting uncomfortably on the lid of the toilet. His hands were shoved between his legs. He looked afraid and sick to his stomach.

"Is your tummy feeling yucky again?" Jack asked. Oliver nodded and looked he had collapsed a little, like his body had caved in.

"Scared."

"I know little one. You're a brave boy, you know that? I know you're afraid, but you'll feel better after a bath. And guess what?" Jack said.

"What?"

"I brought bubbles." He held up the plastic bottle to show him. Oliver smiled and hugged him. Jack turned on the water and brought him over to the tub.

"Jackie?"

"Yes, Oliver?" Jack asked, combing through his hair while he sat in the bubbly water.

"Am I yucky?" He asked.

"Well you're a little bit dirty right now, but we're giving you a bath to clean you up."

"No." He insisted, "Am I yucky?"

"Of course not. Why would you even think that?" Jack was shocked.

"Because I feel like I'm yucky a lot. Mark does too but he pretends not to. Dark didn't before but he does now. Author feels almost as yucky as I do, but he's got his stories to help him feel better. Google is starting to feel stuff, but he doesn't know what it is yet. Wilford feels yucky, but he doesn't care about it. Ayano always feels yucky, except when she's with you. The doctor guy is trying to help us all feel better and it only sometimes works." He explained, swirling to water around. Jack didn't know what to say, so he just hugged his baby and handed him soap.

"Can you scrub yourself, or do you need help?"

"I can do it." He nodded. Jack smoothed down his hair and sat on the edge of the tub with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack combed Ayano's hair with his fingers. She had gotten Mark's permission to paint her nails so she sat on the floor and worked. Caleb walked in the room and sat down. Ayano's pouted and continued her work.

"Ayano, this is Caleb. Be nice to him and I'll take you shopping." He told her. She whined quietly enough that only she and Jack could hear it, "Come and sit down, she won't hurt you. She just gets protective."

"Don't talk about me like I'm a dog." She looked up at him. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He kissed the top of her head. She smiled and her cheeks turned pink.

"Ayano's a girl?" Caleb asked. Jack nodded.

"She's a girl." He said.

"Jack, can I go change when my nails dry?" She asked.

"Sure. You don't need to ask, you know where your stuff is." He told her with a shrug. She blew on her navy and white nails. There was a little navy blue anchor on her white ring finger. Her pointer finger was striped, her middle had two little stripes at the tip, and her pinkie and thumb were both covered in glitter. As soon as it all dried, she walked up the stairs.

"What is he, I mean she changing into?" Caleb asked.

"Probably a dress. They make her feel better than wearing Mark's clothes." Jack explained.

"Is it a dysphoric thing?" Caleb asked.

"I don't know what that is." Jack admitted.

"Feeling uncomfortable with certain gender markers." He said.

"Then, yeah I guess so. She doesn't like the beard either, but Mark won't shave it off. We take her to get her nails done to reward her sometimes. She knows that Mark comes first so she finds ways to feel better." Jack told him, "She'll probably be nervous around you since she doesn't really look like a girl and she doesn't want to be called a boy. Betcha anything that's why she needed to go change."

Ayano came back down the stairs, this time with a skirt on. She smiled politely at Caleb and sat down next to Jack again. She turned on some anime that Jack didn't watch. A blond boy surrounded by rose petals and glitter held his hand out dramatically towards a girl with short brown hair. Jack sat on his phone instead of actually watching. Caleb was sketching something or other. Ayano curled up against Jack's side and watched her show. She glared at Caleb for half a second and Jack gave her a warning look.

"Jack, can we go see a movie tonight?" Ayano asked.

"Not tonight, we can watch something here though." Jack said. He really didn't feel like going out tonight.

"Why not?" She pouted.

"Because Mark has work in the morning and he can't be out late. And I'm tired tonight." Jack explained.

"Okay, fine." She whined, "We can watch something here."

"Thanks." Jack smiled and kissed her temple.

"Ayano can I ask you something? It might be a little weird." Caleb asked. She looked over at him, pausing her show, "Are you trans?"

"I guess it depends. I don't feel trans, in the inner world, it's like the mind palace we all love in, no. Bim is blond there, and I'm a girl with a girl's body. But once I'm outside, I think I am." She explained. Jack had an idea. He would need to see who wanted to do it though, "Jack helps me feel better too."

She hugged him tightly to show how much she loved him.

"I like this skirt on you, is it your new one?" Jack asked. She nodded, "Good choice."

"I'll be right back. I want some juice." She stood up and strolled over to the kitchen, the skirt flowing around her thighs.

"You're really good to her, you know that?" Caleb said.

"I try. Mark can't help it if he's a girl sometimes. Felix can't help it that he likes wearing dresses, even though I tease him about it constantly. I can't help the fact that I'm so small. Maya can't help it she's missing an eye. Everyone has their thing. As long as they're not hurting themselves or others, who gives a fuck?" Jack said with a shrug. He thought that no one should be hurt because of something they had no control over.

"I wish there were more people like you." Caleb said.

~*~

Mark was at work, then he promised to go to the store for milk and eggs. Jack was tidying up. Google wasn't deep cleaning for another week, so it was up to Jack to keep things livable. He was working on folding laundry in his room when Caleb knocked on the open door, more to announce his presence than to ask permission to enter. He looked nervous. Jack looked up and waved him inside.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked. He sat down on the ground in front of Jack's piles of clothes.

"Sure." He shrugged.

"It's been giving me a lot of anxiety, but I think you should know." He said.

"If you don't want to tell me, don't tell me because you feel obligated." Jack insisted. He came out to his family before he wanted to because he thought he had to. It was the one thing he always wished he did differently.

"No, I need someone to know." He said.

"Then I'm all ears." Jack put a hand on his knee. Caleb took a deep breath.

"I'm transgender." He said, "Nobody but me knows so I still look like a boy."

"Okay. I'm assuming you don't want to be called Caleb anymore." Jack said. This had to be awful to tell someone, so he was going to do the best he could to be good about it.

"Emily. And she instead of he." She explained. Jack nodded.

"Okay, Emily. Anything I can do to help you? Shopping, makeup, nails? I could talk to Mark about hormones." Jack said. Her entire face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Could we go shopping?" She asked.

"As soon as I'm done with laundry. Is it okay if I tell Mark?" He asked. She nodded, "Go get ready. I should be done in a few minutes."

She hugged him and left the room. Jack pulled his phone out sent a text to Mark, 

_Caleb is Emily now._

A few minutes later, 

_K_

Jack continued folding laundry. He finished quicker than usual and took Emily out shopping. She drove them there since Jack still hadn't gotten his license.

"Do you mind me asking why you decided to tell me?" Jack asked.

"Because you treated Ayano like a woman. You complimented her, you knew what made her uncomfortable, you made sure I knew she was a girl and treated her like a girl. Then you said that it didn't matter what people were like. You did everything right. And even since I've been here the worst thing you've said to anyone about anything besides a video game you were mad at was teasing Felix about liking dresses. But you're best friends, if you didn't tease each other I'd be worried." Emily explained, "I've known you and Mark for a week and a half and I already feel safer with you guys than I have with any other home I've been in."

"That is maybe the best thing anyone has ever said to me. Besides Dark telling me I was beautiful at my wedding." Jack smiled.

"Unless someone gets murdered while I'm here or something, I'll make sure you guys get your baby." She promised. Jack couldn't contain his joy. He grinned and couldn't stop. He was going to have his baby. He'd be able to take cute pictures in the bath, and teach them how to tie their shoes, and help with math homework, and have a door slammed in his face and told he just doesn't understand, and hug them as they drive off to college, and clap at their wedding, and hold their baby, and spoil that baby rotten.

~*~

Mark came home a few minutes after they did. Jack asked if he could help Emily walk in her new shoes.

"Hell yeah I can." Mark said. He grabbed a pair of his own shoes and put them on. He helped her stand up in her heels and explained how to shift her weight so it didn't hurt as badly. He held her hands to keep her steady, "Heel on the ground first. You'll look clumsy and your feet will hurt if you don't."

He stepped backwards as she stepped forwards. Heel then toe. They took a couple more steps before Mark let go of her. She wobbled a little, but stayed standing. A few more steps and she was on the other side of the room. Mark clapped. She walked slowly over to him where he smiled and held her hand again. They walked into the hall and she walked back and forth along the long strip of carpet. Jack suddenly got very emotional very quickly. He hurried into his bedroom and let the tears roll down his cheeks. A few moments later Mark came in, his shoes in his hands. He set them on the ground and pulled Jack over to the bed. He knelt on the ground in front of him and brushed his thumb along his cheek to wipe tears away.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked quietly.

"Emily said she'd make sure we had a baby. She said that we were the best family she'd ever been with. And then I was thinking about raising our baby and teaching them how to walk and I'm so happy." Jack said. Mark smiled.

"Really? We're having a baby? I can't believe it. We're gonna be dads!" He exclaimed. He stood up and grabbed Jack by the waist, lifting him up and nuzzling against his stomach. Jack laughed, still crying. He put his hands on Mark's shoulders as he was carried around the room. He kissed his tummy and smiled up at his husband.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jack, is it okay if I go to a friend's house tonight? He's having a bunch of people over and invited me to go." Emily asked.

"2 rules you have to follow." Jack said. Emily nodded, "If you're not sober when you get home, hide it well. And no expensive accidents."

"What counts as an expensive accident? Not that I'm planning on it, just seems weird." Emily asked.

"Pregnancy, STDs, broken bones, broken furniture we have to pay for, jail, that sort of thing." Jack told her. Those were his rules for anyone going out.

"He plays Dungeons and Dragons and goes LARPing in his freetime. Something tells me it'll be pretty easy to follow those rules." She said.

"Then have fun. Just in case I have to come get you or something, are you going as Emily or Caleb?" Jack asked. He refused to accidentally out her.

"I'm debating. I know he'll be okay with it, but I don't know who all will be there. What do you think?" She asked him.

"My opinion is from a gay white man, not a lot of risk there, keep that in mind. For me I felt like it was easier to just fuck the concequences and be whoever I fucking wanted to be. But if it seems risky to you, then be careful." Jack said. He knew he was a lot more privileged than Emily was. She was going to be given hell her entire life for things she had no control over.

"If things go badly, you can come get me right?" She asked.

"I can't drive, but Mark can. We'll be just a text away." He smiled at her.

"I'll be me." She said. Jack smiled.

"Let me know if you need any help getting ready." He said. She nodded and hugged him.

Mark came home a couple hours before she left. He helped with her makeup, even though he only really knew the basics, and gave her tips on how to make clothes fit better. After she had left, he sat on the couch with Jack. He had been wearing his collar since she had gone.

"What are you wearing that for?" Mark asked. Jack shrugged.

"Sometimes I just like wearing it." He said. He liked feeling like he belonged to someone.

"We're so weird." He said.

"What makes you say that?" Jack asked.

"Because I'm so many people I've lost count-"

"10 including you." Jack told him.

"Jesus Christ. We're a gay couple where the bottom is more masculine than the top. We have our trans kind of daughter who I'm teaching how to do makeup. One of us is actually Korean, and the other one is fluent in Korean. You're wearing a collar just because you feel like it and instead of having sex, we're eating cereal with our fingers and playing Sonic rage games. What the fuck is our life?" Mark said. Jack laughed.

"Never boring?" He pointed out. Mark smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They happily sat and talked with each other for nearly two hours about nothing at all. Jack kept his phone on in case anything happened, "We are ready to have a kid right?"

"Yeah, of course we are. We have the money, I have a stable job, we're married, we both know how to take care of kids, the others can either help or know how to stay out of the way, it'll be just fine." He promised.

"I'm trusting you, okay? I really don't want to fuck up a kid." Jack said.

"I know. I love you." He said.

"I love you too." Jack said. The night went on smoothly, and the pair went to bed. They left a note for Emily saying she could come wake them up if she needed to, but they trusted her to get to bed okay.

The next day was a rollercoaster. Wilford came out almost immediately, and Jack had to handle that. He had to make sure he was wearing something that wouldn't leave Emily scarred for the rest of her life. He had to watch what he said. He had to make sure he wasn't sucking his fingers. He had to make sure he was eating things that weren't various forms of pure sugar. Jack made pancakes for breakfast since he knew Wilford liked them. He sat Wilford down in his favorite chair and told him he had to stay. Emily walked in the kitchen and sat down next to him.

"Em, meet Wilford. Wilford, this is Emily. Remember what we talked about with the knives?" Jack didn't need to turn around to know that Wilford was playing with the kitchen knife that he had mistakenly left on the table, "Emily, please take that away from him. For some reason he doesn't quite understand the concept of dying quite yet."

"Damien got back up." He pouted.

"What?" Jack did turn around for that, "Who's Damien?"

"He's up here." Wilford pressed a finger to his forehead, "Mark died this one time and we all went madder than a hatter. It was an accident."

"Mark died?" Jack asked. He didn't really know much about their inner world.

"Well not outside. He got close though. Something in his belly went all crazy and he died. Not forever though." Wilford shrugged, "He's died a lot actually. But he always gets back up. Dark killed him once when he was but a wee one. Another time he drank something bad. Three times his tummy went bad."

Jack turned back to the pancakes to process what he was hearing. Obviously there was an inside Mark and an outside Mark. Inside Mark can die and outside Mark can still be living. Who was Damien? He wasn't an alter as far as Jack knew. He put the pancakes that finished cooking on a plate with the rest and brought them to the table. Wilford picked up the syrup and tried putting it in his mouth.

"What did we say about the syrup?" Jack asked. Wilford rolled his eyes and poured it over his pancakes. It was starting to pool at the edges of his plate when Jack took it away from him and handed it to Emily.

"You never let me have enough syrup." He pouted.

"That's a lot of syrup. You just tried to drink it, Wilford. That's not healthy to do." Jack explained, "What happened to Damien."

"Oh, when Mark died he was really upset. He kept saying it was my fault, that I messed him up. I didn't do it, but I knew he was just sad and angry. The Detective said it was my fault too and he threatened me. I didn't mean to, but I didn't feel bad when his tummy turned red. I didn't like him. I did feel bad when Damien grabbed me and I made his tummy turn red. I liked him a lot, and I cried a lot. Until he got back up. I don't know where he is now though. He went away." Wilfred told them. The pieces clicked together in Jack's brain. His constant search for love and affection. His inability to understand that you don't get back up. Maybe even the accident that made Author go blind.

"So the Detective? He died. I never met him?" Jack asked. Wilford shook his head.

"This was before we knew you. When Mark's tummy went bad the first time." He said. Jack nodded. He couldn't think of any more questions that would help him, so he asked about something he'd been sitting on for a while.

"Do you think you could remake your inner world outside?" Jack started. He had an idea, and Wilford seemed like he would be the most willing.

"Depends. In Minecraft? With toothpicks and marshmallows? Hot glue and popsicle stick tables like Vanilla Ham Ham?" Wilford asked with a shrug.

"How about the Sims?" He asked.

"I could make it work." Wilford said. Jack smiled, "Why?"

"Because I think it would help us understand you guys a little better." He said.

After breakfast, Jack helped set up Mark's laptop. Everyone had a different account for their own things. They set it up after Mark had a breakdown because Ayano and Google were in a constant state of arguing over the desktop organization. Wilford's background was a slideshow of different pastel pink photos. One was a pink backdrop with glass eyeballs strewn across it in different colors. A recordplayer. One was a photo of a faceless woman in lingerie that was diluted it so much pastel pink that she nearly blended into the background. In big white letters it said "Daddy's little angel."

Jack helped him set everything up and taught him how to design his first character. Emily sat on the couch and together they watched him create himself. His face was angular, but still soft. He was paler than Mark was, and his eyes were rounder. He still had the same fluffy mop of black hair as Mark did, but with bright blue eyes. He got made when turning the mustache pink, turned the rest of his hair pink too. Eventually, he settled on keeping it black. He was dressed in a white button down shirt, khaki pants, and a pink bow tie. His ears were pierced. This was the part that always fascinated Jack. Wilford didn't look like Mark did, he didn't even look Korean.

Next was Dark. He said that Dark didn't really have a body, but he looked like a person still. His skin was the palest shade of white, bordering on gray. His hair was black and hung into his red eyes. He wore a suit and tie. His face was harder than stone, but he looked gorgeous anyway. 

"He's glitchy like a tape you've watched too many times." Wilford explained, "He's blue and red and black all at once."

Ayano was next. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she had cute little bangs. She was thin and pale, but had Mark's dark eyes. She wore a short blue skirt and black tights. Her shirt was white. She had a pleasant looking heart shaped face. Jack knew Ayano was Japanese, but he didn't realize how much she looked like an anime character.

The game was too limiting on hairstyles for Author to have his blond skunk stripe, or his blindfold. But Wilford made his eyes milky white. He explained that Author lost his eyes, they weren't just white. He was wearing a trench coat, but all black otherwise. His face was soft and warm looking.

Dr. Iplier came next. His hair was gelled up in soft spikes like something out of Doctor Who. Jack never got into the show, but Mark liked it. He had the same face as Mark. Same dark eyes. Same t-shirt and jeans combo.

Bim Trimmer had parted blond hair and blue eyes. He looked young and way too happy. Again he was dressed in a suit a tie.

Google had red eyes like Dark did, and the same pale skin. But his hair was the same shade of blue as his shirt. He had on a simple pair of jeans.

Oliver was a beautiful little blond baby. Big shiny green eyes and round, full cheeks. He wore a little yellow t-shirt and a pair of shorts. You could see his little white socks peeking out from the tops of his sneakers.

Bing's defining feature was his traffic cone orange tank top. His skinny jeans were too tight and his snapback remained on his head. He looked exactly how one would expect him too. Brown hair, tan skin, teeth too white for the rest of his face. 

Wilford assigned everyone's relationships with each other and built their house. He said he was going bare minimum right now and he would build on as he got the money to afford everything for such a massive house. He closed the computer up and climbed up onto the couch between Jack and Emily.

"You want to watch Sesame Street?" Jack asked him. Wilford nodded and let him turn the TV on. Soon the sounds of Elmo and Bert and Ernie filled the room. Jack watched as Ernie traded in his rubber duckie for a cigar box to keep Bert's paper clip collection in. Later Bert traded in his paper clips for a soap dish that Ernie could keep his rubber duckie in. Wilford swung his legs onto Jack's lap and rested his head on his shoulder. Emily looked over at the pair, a little confused at the action.

"Are you guys dating each other too?" She asked.

"No Wilford's just affectionate." Jack clarified. They snuggled up to each other. Jack really didn't mind. Even though it wasn't his husband sitting in his lap, it still smelled like him, and felt like him, and looked like him. He never really minded cuddles either.


End file.
